God holds the pieces of my heart

15 Apr

CS LEWIS // To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

I’ve learned a lot about love these last few months. CS Lewis hits it on the nail, opening your heart is dangerous. People fail. Paul tells us over and over in the New Testament. We all fall short // Romans 3:23. I am bitter towards others who have hurt me, but yet I forget about my own plank // Matthew 7. Forgiveness, putting my bitterness back on God’s hook, is something I struggle with. Recognizing my own plank is something I need to stop ignoring. Opening my heart sometimes is something I struggle with.

Cambodia ripped open my heart. And I quickly shut it, building a thick wall around my heart. Ghana started the process of healing. Guatemala continually reminds me of this long journey; of God’s love for all. Being home these last few months have been hard.  Life stretched my heart so thin it broke. Thank goodness, God has been holding the pieces through it all. What a faithful  God.

I’m still learning to let go and let God. It’s hard to love, trust and forgive. It’s hard to let go of bitterness, Satan darn him.

Psalm 34:18 // The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 147:3 // He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 73:26 // My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

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One Response to “God holds the pieces of my heart”

  1. jannaaimee April 20, 2014 at 11:37 pm #

    Lauren, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your own struggles. you are amazing.

    miss you and facman and throwing mice into the river. okay not the mice part. 😉

    love.

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